Answer:
I go up and never come down no matter how hard you wish. As I get higher more wrinkles crawl onto your face.
Part carbon, part water, I am poison to the fishes. Many falsely claim my name, I am the pause that refreshes. What am I?
What is always coming but never arrives?
I go up when the rain comes down. What am I?
I am the second L in LOL.
What did the piece of wood say when he saw the screwdriver and screws approaching?