Answer:
Blend a teapot shot so the pearlies won’t rot!
People are hired to get rid of me. I'm often hiding under your bed. In time I'll always return you see. Bite me and you're surely dead.
My first master has four legs, my second master has two. My first I serve in life, my second I serve in death. Tough I am, yet soft beside. Against ladies cheeks I often reside.
What is lengthened by being cut at both ends?
Two brothers we are, great burdens we bear. All day we are bitterly pressed. Yet this I will say, we are full all the day, and empty when go to rest.
What language does a billboard speak?
Difficult
Animal
Easy
Food
Funny
Kids
Logic
What am I?